


You Only Disappear

by Thistlerose



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-15
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlerose/pseuds/Thistlerose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the night before Brian leaves for college and Michael thinks they should spend it together.  As friends.  Brian has other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Only Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in 2005.

Brian is halfway out the window when Michael comes back into the bedroom, a stack of videocassettes in his hands. There's a long moment during which the blinds shiver faintly in the light evening breeze and Michael's heart stalls. It's forgotten, apparently, that Michael's extremities need blood, too.

Then Brian says casually – as though he were sitting on the edge of Michael's bed, where Michael had left him two minutes ago, and did not have one long leg dangling over the windowsill – "Well, are you coming or not?" He adds dryly, "You've got to come if you want to... _come_." His lips quirk.

Michael's heart teeters between his ribs. "I thought you were spending the night _here_. It's our last night together. That's why you told me to get all these movies. You gave me a _list._ Look, I've got _The Empire Strikes Back_ , and _Superman II_ , and—"

There isn't much light in the room, but even without it Michael can see that Brian is bored. As patiently as though Michael were three years old – though Michael doubts Brian would have any patience for actual three-year-olds – Brian says, "I picked out those videos because they're _your_ favorites. So you can watch them if you want. If you decide you don't want to come with me."

 _Now_ Michael's heart remembers what it's supposed to be doing; it hammers so hard it actually hurts. Michael's hands tremble as he puts the videos on the bed and walks to the window.

"That's my boy."

Michael stops about a yard away from Brian. "Where are _you_ going?"

It's obvious enough. Brian's still wearing the tight black t-shirt and the faded jeans he came over in, but a coolness has settled over his features like a fine mist. It's like he's fading with the daylight.

"Babylon. You should change if you're coming." He cocks his eyebrow critically. "No one is going to fuck you in that."

Michael crosses his arms over his chest – and over the Transformers emblem on his t-shirt.

"You're not coming." Brian sounds a little disappointed.

"I don't really want to watch you fuck." He says it lightly, though it's not like Brian doesn't know exactly why Michael doesn't care to see him with anyone else.

" _You_ might get lucky. Cute ass like yours—"

"Shut up."

"I'll do better than that." Brian swings his other leg over the windowsill. "I'm out of here." He reaches for a tree branch.

The last of the daylight flickers in his hair. Briefly, Michael wonders what would happen if he reached out and touched that light with his fingertips. He and Brian touch each other all the time. Brian is always wrapping his arms around Michael, even kissing him – though he does a hell of a lot more with other boys. _With men_ , thinks Michael, and wonders if his chest is going to cave in; his heart is swinging like a wrecking ball now.

If he touches Brian now, things will change. And not for the better, Michael knows. Whatever the better might be...

It doesn't matter. Whatever happens, Michael will lose Brian. Brian's leaving for Carnegie Mellon tomorrow morning. He'll be living on campus and making new friends, while Michael stays here so he can work and take classes at the local college. Nothing that could possible happen tonight is going to change that.

"I'm out of here," Brian says again, grasping the branch and starting to pull himself away from the windowsill. It doesn't even occur to Michael to worry; Brian won't fall.

Brian never falls.

He just disappears and disappears, leaving Michael to huddle on his bed, and kick those stupid videos onto the floor, and jerk off, and wait.

 

Brian comes back before morning, of course. Michael has been dozing on and off since about midnight and he pretends to be asleep when Brian pulls back the blanket and climbs into bed beside him. His breath hitches when Brian wraps his arms around him and slips his hands up Michael's t-shirt.

"I know you're awake," Brian mumbles. His warm breath tickles the nape of Michael's neck.

Brian smells like beer, cigarettes, sweat, and semen. He smells like every man in the world except Michael.

"You should've been there. Fuck, what a send-off. I might actually miss this place..."

Now Michael turns. He glares across the pillow at Brian, whose eyelids are drooping and whose lips are probably bruised from kissing.

"You won't."

"I won't," Brian agrees sleepily. His mouth opens around a yawn that lasts for several moments. Then it closes in a limp smile that Michael can half-see in the darkness. "I'll miss Deb's cooking."

"No you _won't_ ," Michael says, grimacing.

"No." Brian yawns again. His broad hands slide over Michael's chest and come to rest over his heart. "Mikey. I'll only miss you."

 

05/24/05


End file.
